From Liz, With Love: Don’t be a casualty to the Love-Bomb
Dear Liz,
I recently broke up with my boyfriend because he was pestering me for not being ready to say “I love you” back to him. I do like him, and he’s never been demanding before. We’ve been dating two months and I just don’t feel like saying it, but he kept bringing it up every hour we spent together. Was I too harsh in breaking up with him?
Signed,
Confused_Sad_Girl_1992
Dear Confused_Sad_Girl_1992,
I’m so proud of you, soldier, for not falling victim to the “Love-Bomb.” Can’t say I’ve done the same…
The Love-Bomb is when your partner showers you with excessive attention and admiration to make you feel dependent and obligated to do the same back—which is extremely manipulative. Almost like Dean building a car for Rory in Gilmore Girls.
My Love-Bomb tale happened late one night—1:15 a.m.—at Exhibition Go, just as I was about to catch the last train home. We had spent the whole day together and it was nothing short of magical, but it also felt fresh, young, and innocent. He told me he loved me in between kisses—I panicked and said it back.
I’m not sure if I meant it in the moment, I don’t think I did. Yes, over the next months, I started to mean it, but I do wish I had waited until it felt right.
Being open to love and affection is a vulnerable experience, but it shouldn’t be one forced onto you. We all desire love—the kind that gives us butterflies and makes us want to throw up from excitement. The kind of love that gives you that magical leg pop after your first kiss, just like in The Princess Diaries. But love happens at your own pace. And the right person will go at the speed that makes you feel most comfortable.
So Confused_Sad_Girl_1992, no need to be a sad girl for choosing to prioritize your truth and genuine love. This guy forcing you to say something you don’t truly feel is an attempt at stripping away your autonomy. You are your own person, meant to do things on your own time.
With love,
Editor-in-Chief (Volume 48 & 49) | editor@themedium.ca — Liz is completing a double major in Chemistry and Art History. She previously served as Features Editor for Volume 47, and Editor-in-Chief for Volume 48. Liz is extremely excited to have spent her time as an undergrad at The Medium, and can’t wait to inspire others and be inspired in her final year at UTM. When she’s not studying, working, writing, or editing countless articles, you can find her singing Motown hits at her piano, going on long walks by the lake, or listening to music. You can connect with Liz on her website, Instagram, or LinkedIn.