A little ironic, but I require lack-thereof romantic advice. I am turning 20 and have been single my whole life—not one date, kiss, or “love you.” I have been of interest to boys, I just haven’t found “the one.” I will never have that spontaneous teenage whirlwind romance. In four months, any relationships will throw me into more adult, emotionally mature love, which is so daunting. I am worried that I am missing something that could’ve been amazing. When I tell anyone, they assure me I’m not missing much, which is almost as annoying as keeping it to myself.
Single in Seattle
Dear Single in Seattle,
There seems to be a pattern: me answering questions in two parts.
Firstly, life is more than just teenage romance. Your teens and twenties are for finding yourself—exploring your interests and career paths, making new friends, and yes when the time comes, relationships. So don’t let the fear of missing out keep you from your growth.
Secondly, relationships, at any age, are as mature, or spontaneous, or whirlwind-y as you make them. There’s a partner for every kind of relationship—the silly or serious kind. That will always be your choice.
And from personal experience, the best things come when you stop looking. So just sit back, grab a glass of rosé, and do your thing. Oh, and love yourself. No “I love you’s” will come your way if you can’t tell yourself “I love me.”