Bilaal Mohamed

Associate Sports Editor (Volume 50) — Bilaal is in his fourth year working towards a double major in Biology and Psychology and a minor in Professional Writing & Communication. When Bilaal isn’t procrastinating doing his assignments, you can catch him singing along to early 2000s RnB, watching Seinfeld, or coming up with absurd satire pitches he can get away with.

Sports

Who will win the Champions League?
An inside look into the favourites for this year's Champions League

Bilaal Mohamed March 18, 2024March 17, 2024

The UEFA Champions League is revered as the most prestigious tournament in European football. Millions around the globe tune in…

Sports

The game’s toll: UEFA’s unseen consequences of tournament expansion
Footballers are sacrificing their bodies for the love of the game

Bilaal Mohamed January 15, 2024January 14, 2024

The tournament expansions introduced by the Union of European Football Association’s (UEFA) Champions League have created a more intensive schedule…

Satire

From books to booze: UTM’s new Hoco Committee calls for “serious” changes
A new institutional division implemented aims to make the University of Toronto “lit again”

Bilaal Mohamed October 9, 2023January 2, 2024

Right before the grueling midterm season begins, many universities across Canada brace for their homecoming. “Hocos” are unofficial parties held…

Arts

Love Island UK 2023: The trials and tribulations of being a sexy single
A recap of the messy and steamy Casa Amor affairs that led to the season finale.

Bilaal Mohamed March 20, 2023May 18, 2023

Spoiler Warning: Article mentions winners of Love Island UK, Season 9. Love Island UK is a reality dating TV show…

Opinion | Satire

U of T to implement two-factor authentication on student accounts
The rollout of UTFORMA is another stress on students.

Bilaal Mohamed February 6, 2023April 3, 2023

By February 28, 2023, all students will be required to sign up for the mandatory UTORMFA program, University of Toronto’s…

Opinion | Satire

E-sports! The new and improved Varsity sport
A new era of online sports has entered UTM to continue its “boundless” agenda.

Bilaal Mohamed February 28, 2022April 3, 2023

After charging students membership fees for a gym they couldn’t use, last November, the University of Toronto Mississauga (UTM) athletic…

Opinion | Satire

Tim Hortons is back and bad as ever
The UTM community is relieved to waste their money on the inedible food they always loved.

Bilaal Mohamed November 22, 2021April 3, 2023

Normalcy returned in the beginning of November as the beloved Davis’ Tim Hortons branch was seemingly brought back to life. A…

The Cut

The Closer: Dave Chappelle’s pathetic attempt at being woke
Chappelle’s new controversial comedy special paints a depressing portrait of a legendary comedian spiralling down the “cancel culture” conspiracy.

Bilaal Mohamed October 25, 2021October 25, 2021

CW: suicide and transphobia What made Dave Chappelle such a compelling comedian was how he used comedy to make people…

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