10 things that have lasted longer than Liz Truss

On October 20, 2022, British Prime Minister Liz Truss announced that she was stepping down, only six weeks into her tenure as the Conservative Party’s leader. But, don’t feel bad folks, her short term has made her eligible for a 115,000-pound yearly allowance for the rest of her life. 

The day before her resignation, in response to a boisterous start to her reign, Truss expressed that she was “a fighter and not a quitter.” As someone who often gives up at the first sign of any minor inconvenience, and who’s been convicted of having relationships shorter than the time it takes for the moon to orbit the earth, from one Liz to another, here are 10 things that have lasted longer than Liz Truss. 

1. My open ticket with the Office of the Registrar from first year
2. The bruise on my knee from unintentionally joining a mosh pit this summer
3. The unanswered email to my first-year chemistry professor asking how I could succeed in the class
4. The unopened can of tuna in The Medium’s office, next to the toolbox in the kitchen cupboard
5. My bumper, which has been hanging off my car since I hit a curb three months ago
6. My mother’s patience after picking shitty men
7. My will to live (surprisingly)
8. The show Riverdale
9. My gym membership
10. Donald Trump