Is faith measurable?
Why do others feel entitled to judge religious practices—particularily amongst the diaspora?

Religion was never supposed to be tied to performance. Yet the modern day reality is the exact opposite. 

I have always considered myself a spiritual person. Growing up, faith existed subtly, in everyday life. Praying before an exam, going to the temple routinely before school, bowing in front of the deities, ringing the temple bells, and chanting the holy mantras before bed—these all felt normal. No one asked whether you had done it “correctly.” No one questioned how sincere your faith was. 

But somewhere along the way, religion stopped feeling private. It became something people started measuring in each other. People have become entitled over other’s practices. It’s in a comment made by someone who notices you didn’t fast during a religious holiday, or asks why you didn’t attend a particular prayer. Or when someone comments on what a woman is wearing and whether it is “appropriate” for a religious space. 

Suddenly faith isn’t just about belief, it’s about vigilance.

The religion paradox: faith or cultural performance?

For many international students and immigrants, religion is not only tied  to spirituality but to cultural identity, too. Naturally, moving across countries changes how people practice religion. Traditions adapt. Festivals become smaller. Rituals become simpler.

A student who grew up in Canada may celebrate Diwali with friends in residence dorms instead of visiting the temple. Another might observe Ramadan while juggling midterms and deadlines. Others may connect with their faith in ways that look different from how their parents practiced it back home. But, these differences often invite criticism, ignoring the circumstances at hand.

An international Muslim student who doesn’t fast during Ramadan might be criticised: “but everyone back home does it!” A Hindu student celebrating Diwali with friends instead of family rituals might be told they are becoming “too Western/modern.”

These conversations rarely happen publicly. They show up quietly: in group chats, in casual comments at gatherings, or over phone calls with relatives back home. For many young people navigating identity in a new country or an environment, like university, religion becomes something they feel they must constantly explain or justify, often leading to an identity crisis regarding their relationship with these practices and traditions.

Why women are judged more harshly

Within most religious communities, the victims of scrutiny are often women. Across cultures, women’s bodies and behaviours are frequently treated as symbols of religious devotion. Clothing becomes a public marker of how seriously someone is perceived to follow their faith.

A woman who chooses not to cover her head may be questioned about her values. A girl not wearing traditional clothes to a temple might receive disapproving looks. A female student deciding not to fast may be asked repeatedly to justify her actions.

Meanwhile, men rarely face the same level of scrutiny for their choices. When was the last time you saw a man wearing jeans in a temple being called abnormal? Simultaneously, a woman regarded as “immodest” or “untraditional” in dress  does not only invite unsolicited looks but plenty of moral policing from people she’d barely know. 

This pattern appears across many religious traditions. Women’s behaviour becomes tied to ideals of honour, morality, and tradition, and religion becomes the language used to enforce these expectations.

In many cases, the pressure isn’t actually about theology; it’s about social and cultural expectations that have merged with religion over time.

Where does religious entitlement come from?

Why do people feel entitled to comment on someone else’s faith? Part of the answer lies in the way religion functions as a collective identity.

Religious communities often see themselves as guardians of tradition. Rituals and customs are passed down across generations, and people feel responsible for preserving them. When someone practices differently, it can feel like those traditions are being diluted. So, criticism becomes framed as protection.

A relative reminding you to fast might believe they are helping you stay connected to your culture. A community elder commenting on someone’s clothing might think they are preserving religious values. But, intentions don’t always equal impact.

For many young people, these comments slowly turn religion into something performative. Instead of asking themselves what they believe, they begin wondering how their actions will be judged, and therefore end up  performing traditions that they may not even fully understand. Faith becomes less about spirituality and more about managing other people’s expectations of you.

When judgement pushes people away from faith

Unfortunately, attempts to protect religion’s tradition can end up pushing people away from it. Some young people distance themselves from religion entirely because it feels like a system of surveillance rather than meaning. Others redefine their relationship with faith on their own terms.

A student may still celebrate Diwali with friends even if they don’t attend temple regularly. Someone might pray occasionally but not follow every dietary rule. Others may find spirituality in personal reflection rather than organized religious practice.

In these cases, faith becomes personal again, but that is often a product of  stepping away from communal expectations, which takes a strong belief in one’s identity. This belief is usually still evolving in the youth, especially young adults who are still trying to integrate their idea of spirituality within their own newly-fabricated identities. 

Community should not mean judgement

Religion has always had both personal and communal elements. Festivals, gatherings, and rituals bring people together and create shared meaning. But, there is a difference between community and communal judgement.

Community can offer a sense of belonging, comfort, and identity. Communal judgement, on the other hand, turns faith into something monitored and evaluated. Devotion cannot be measured through clothing, fasting, or visible rituals.

Two people can practice the same religion in completely different ways and still share the same faith. Maybe the real issue isn’t religion at all. Maybe it’s the way communities transform religion  into a “standard” that people feel obligated to enforce.

Faith evolves as people grow, migrate, question, and reinterpret traditions. Perhaps the more useful question isn’t whether someone is practicing religion “correctly”. Instead, the question should be why we assume anyone else has the authority to decide what someone’s faith should look like at all. Because if religion is ultimately about connection with the divine, with tradition, and with oneself, then it was never meant to be something others could measure or judge.