From Liz, With Love: Five ways to get over your crusty dusty ex
My dear Valentine,
Yes, you! You’re my Valentine!! (Unless you already have a Valentine, then how embarrassing, I just got rejected.) I love Valentine’s Day, because I think that no matter your relationship status, February 14 allows us to celebrate our layered and intimate connections with our partners, friends, family, and with ourselves! There’s nothing like self-love, so, make sure you light a candle, fill the bathtub with your favourite lavender bubble bath, and eat heart-shaped candy on this special day.
For some of us, Valentine’s Day might be difficult, especially when we’re trying to get over our exes. So, here are five ways to move on before (or on) love day.
- Recently, for $25, the Toronto Zoo Wildlife Conservancy offered patrons the opportunity to name a cockroach in someone’s honour (or dishonour). Although the “Adopt an Animal” program is sold out, feel free to capture a roach or insect of your own and name it after your ex.
- Give yourself time. The truth is, it might take you until next Valentine’s Day to fully get over your ex, but between now and then, you will grow stronger, and your heart will grow bigger. Heartbreak can be messy, and healing is not linear. It’ll come and go—but remember to feel any and all emotions (good and bad), because if you don’t face them, they’ll creep up later. It’s not time that heals all wounds, it’s the healing process that does.
- Rally the girl squad (or dude squad). Don’t spend your Valentine’s Day, or any day you’re hurting for that matter, alone. Have a cute Galentine’s dinner and make little love day trinkets for one another. Boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, but friendship is forever. Besides, your best friend probably realized your ex was a piece of shit ages ago.
- Get out there. And not in the go date or hook up with a bunch of other people way—though, you could. However, what I mean is travel. Go absolutely anywhere, far or near, to remind yourself of how huge the world is. Life is so vast. You’ll meet new people, travel to new places, and experience beautiful things. What you feel right now is not forever, and being reminded of all of life’s opportunities, especially when meeting new people, might help ease the pain a little more. And who knows, maybe you’ll meet your future partner while dogsledding in Nunavut.
- Take charge, cut off all communication, and cleanse your timeline of their presence. Remember—the block button exists for a reason and is a great tool to show your ex that you are willing to and capable of living on without them. There’s nothing like that nagging reminder when they post the latest Premier League score on their story. This last one is optional but has always worked for me. Others feel more fulfilled knowing they got over their ex while they were still haunting their social media like a groupie at a Harry Styles concert. Up to you!
I say “Thank you” to your ex for going because they weren’t meant for you. Those who go are meant to go. These tips have worked for me, so I share them with you now. I promise that you will find what works best for you. Being single does not mean there is anything wrong with you—it is just an opportunity to prioritize yourself and determine what you truly want in love. And if you ever need a listening ear (or a threatening message sent someone’s way), my line is always open.
Editor-in-Chief (Volume 48 & 49) | email@example.com — Liz is completing a double major in Chemistry and Art History. She previously served as Features Editor for Volume 47, and Editor-in-Chief for Volume 48. Liz is extremely excited to have spent her time as an undergrad at The Medium, and can’t wait to inspire others and be inspired in her final year at UTM. When she’s not studying, working, writing, or editing countless articles, you can find her singing Motown hits at her piano, going on long walks by the lake, or listening to music. You can connect with Liz on her website, Instagram, or LinkedIn.