Dating with strict parents
The trials and tribulations of jumping through your strict parent’s dating hoops.
We have all heard the horror stories from our friends with strict parents. The expectations, curfews, rules, and all the other hoops they must jump through to appease their parents. Trust me, I would know.
I had those parents that said no to dating in high school. The intentions of my male best friends were constantly questioned. The topic of having a boyfriend or even a crush was completely off the table in my house. Because of this, my sisters and I had to get creative. I mean, we were normal high school students; what else were we supposed to do?
Most parents will explain that they want you to stay focused, that you have your entire life to fall in love and date another person, blah blah blah. But what they refuse to acknowledge is that we are normal kids with all-consuming crushes.
You can try and convince your parents to change their rules about dating, or you can go about the more popular route—hide it from them. We all know how the saying goes, “strict parents raise sneaky kids.”
Step one, you realize your crush likes you back. But how do you maintain a normal relationship while hiding it from your parents?
More often than not, your significant other understands the circumstances when it comes to your parents. And it starts off with both of you in the honeymoon phase of your newly budding romance. You meet up at school and go out for lunch together, you say you’re going over to a “friends” house, or that you’re meeting up with your friends to get some coffee and study. Each one of these are very valid, strict parent proof ways of spending time with your partner.
I have pulled some sneaky tactics while trying to spend time with the boy that I had a crush on in high school. My favourite was saying I was going out to spend time with my large group of friends when I was really meeting up with him. Pro-tip: when it comes to friends your parents like, they rarely ever say “no.”
But make sure everyone wrapped up in your little story knows the circumstances, and what their response should be if they are questioned. Nothing is worse than your mom asking your best friend how your coffee or study date went, and them inventing a not-so-convincing lie.
It starts with one slip up, a time where your omission of the truth is not completely fool proof. From then on, your parents start to question and analyze everything more than usual.
Step two, the talk.
At one point, your significant other is going to ask about the possibility that you come clean to your parents. Ease into it. Slowly work them into conversation, bring them around as a friend, and propose the idea of someone asking you out. Take it step by step, so you can judge your parents’ reactions.
This way you don’t get the definite “no” you dread will come from your parents, and you can satisfy your significant other. And maybe, just maybe, the impossible will come true.
To those of you without strict parents and less stressful dating rules, no, none of this was exaggerated. And to those of you who are a lot like me, take my advice and I wish you the best.
Happy Valentine’s Day lovebirds.
Sincerely,
Your expert on strict parents
