Stories of UTM: Getting out of my shell with Synix
New bonds and self-expression cultivated in UTM’s K-pop club, Synix.
I first came to the University of Toronto Mississauga (UTM) as a nervous first-year, and performing in front of a crowd was the last thing on my mind. I was just hoping to meet some friends and do well in my classes so I could get into my desired program of study. However, as I familiarized myself with UTM, I realized that I need outlets to truly thrive.
As a dancer and a longtime K-pop fan, I approached UTM’s K-pop dance club Synix during their orientation tabling. I attended a few of their workshops. I also applied to perform on the annual Halloween Pub Night, but I did not think I would be selected. When I found out I was chosen to perform, I worked hard to master the choreography to my favourite K-pop song, “Oh! my mistake” by the girl group April.
On the day of the performance, I was surprised to learn that I would be performing one of the two dances. I was also the only solo performer! Before I knew it, I was shakily climbing up the stage in the Student Centre, waiting for the music to start. I stared at the crowd of strangers, praying that muscle memory would kick in.
I can’t remember much from the performance itself, except that my headband almost fell off and everyone from Synix was cheering me on. Afterwards, I watched a video of my performance. But I realized I lacked stage presence despite not making errors in my dance moves. Since then, I was motivated to improve my facial expressions and immerse myself in performances.
Synix’s K-pop Showcase, hosted at the end of each term, was the perfect opportunity to improve. I performed two boy group dances in the Synix Winter Showcase to explore and learn a different style of choreography. This experience connected me with other Synix members, who I eventually collaborated with in other showcases. My performances also inspired a friend to participate. In the subsequent showcases, we performed girl group songs together, including Twice’s “This Is For” and Red Velvet’s “Russian Roulette.”
In my most recent showcase, I performed three dances. It was my most time-consuming and biggest dance challenge yet. However, the opportunity to explore many different dance styles was rewarding.
It’s funny to look back and think of how nervous I was the first time I performed on stage, because now it feels like second nature. I enjoy working in group performances, because I get to bond with the team and be part of something bigger.
Being part of Synix has helped me overcome my fear of meeting new people. It has also strengthened my confidence and stage presence (which helps with class presentations!). It gave me an outlet to release my academic stress and express myself authentically through my passion for dance and K-pop.
