My eight-legged-plus roommates
How to get used to spiders and centipedes in your room.
Before we get started, I know! Yes, they can bite and they’re freaky as hell, but bear with me. I used to leave the room whenever I saw these little peeps crawling around. However, there are ways to avoid killing them on sight and having their presence always strike fear. Here are stages of how to live with these roommates who disrespect personal space and scurry around without paying rent.
Stage 1: Setting Rules
Most will hear you; some won’t give a damn. The first step is to announce your boundaries. Communication is vital. Compromise by explaining they can roam freely, but cannot crawl on restricted areas like the bed, your desk, and the walls touching these areas. These types of roommates tend to pass by your personal space. They can be motivated to leave by sending vibrations through patting the bed or wall when they are near or on it. If they get too close to your bubble, waft some wind in their direction and they leave. It’s a 60/40 shot they’ll listen.
Stage 2: Naming
The next step is to make connections. Your roommates won’t recognize their names, but you’ll sure recognize them. My first roommates were Bernard, and his girlfriend, Jenny. Bernard the spider liked vibing near my bed at the crack under the wall. He never moved, luckily respecting boundaries, and would shift away when I needed to use the plug a few inches above him (such a sweetheart). Jenny came along not long after. I think they had a fight because Bernard was absent for a few days, leaving Jenny to take his spot. Bernard did come back, and Jenny stole his original spot forever. If you find yourself thinking this story is endearing, then you’re on the same wavelength as me. Naming them and greeting your roommates from time to time slowly allows you to make a habit of addressing them and their presence, easing you into comfortability. I would’ve never liked Greg the ceiling centipede if I hadn’t become friends with Bernard and Jenny. I genuinely miss Greg because I would speak to him in a chilled-out tone akin to a stereotypical surfer. Greg was a chill guy.
Stage 3: Vibing and upholding boundaries
After days of practice and seeing them around, it becomes easier to share the room. Although a level of discomfort will still linger and you may have to “remove” the disrespectful roommates who don’t respect your rules and boundaries, it soon becomes apparent most of these roommates are chill and make neutral friends. You’ll find yourself getting less scared and not minding them. Whenever someone visits, instead of you saying, “Oh my God! Pass me your shoe!” it’ll be: “Yo, that’s just Carol. Sup, Carol.”
