Brushstrokes of Tomorrow

Sadly, not all seeds grow in an environment nourished by warmth and security, and when neglected, they are left to wither in the harsh winds of trauma or loss. A tiny seed of vulnerability planted during the tender years of childhood can branch out crooked and tangled, growing into a fragile tree with weak and brittle twigs. Yet, with care and attention, this tree can be nurtured and healed. This is something I’ve come to realize as I reflect on my own life experiences. As I scribble in my journal, I can’t help but wonder if my fear of abandonment stems from my childhood. Journaling has become an important tool for me to explore these difficult memories and emotions. To me, words are like the brushstrokes on a canvas, painting a vivid portrait of the soul and the past. This is when I confront those experiences, come to terms with them, and begin to forgive in order to move on and heal. It’s a process that involves digging up the hurt and anger that has already taken root in my heart, and carefully pulling out the weeds of resentment that threaten to choke me. It’s a slow, quiet practice—one that requires me to get my hands dirty, kneel down in the soil, and work tirelessly, even when I am discouraged. 

But, while I continue to tend to my inner garden, I see the blossoms that bring beauty and peace to my life. Forgiving in silence is a deep act of self-care, a way of nurturing myself and the people around me. We all face our own battles, and I choose to heal despite the cause of my pain being beyond my control. The soil has remained arid for a long time, and assigning blame is futile since we cannot reverse time. Nevertheless, the focus on the canvas of the future will allow the seeds of kindness and empathy to take root and flourish. It’s a process that often goes unnoticed, but it’s also one that bears rich fruit, both in my life and in the lives of those dear to me. 

As I release the scared little girl inside of me, a glimmer of hope awakens. I am reminded that there is always a chance for change and growth. The roots are untangled and straightened, finding a solid foundation in the earth. New branches get the opportunity to sprout, reaching up toward the sun, and the tree can flourish once again. It may take time and effort, but with patience and compassion, the abandoned self can grow strong and resilient, rooted deeply in the fertile soil of love and acceptance.


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