Finding light through life’s unpredictable challenges
Hope. With each to gain their own definition of what the word may bring throughout their lifetime, it becomes a personal force with endless possibilities. Growing up, the meaning of hope has fluttered from definitions to conceptions and evolved by my side.
Around the second or third grade, I remember racing carelessly through Nan’s house, chasing my brother for various things, and seeing the word ‘hope’ being littered across the walls and shelves of her house. From acronyms spelling out different meanings of hope to the individual letters painted on canvases, I saw the word ‘hope’ across many items. Bubble letters elongated across the walls, tea towels embroidered across the bottom—it seemed that these decorations were as important to the walls as the foundation was holding them. Intrigued, I wondered why hope was this important to hold onto and carried that question throughout my life.
A few years later, I learned that Nan’s middle was Hope. And truly, even at that point, I could understand why. She was truly grounded in hope. Always holding on for the next best thing to come, always encouraging our future endeavours for one reason or another. Yet, I remained interested in why the word was so important and held such great connotations for her and many others. What did the presence of hope give us that the absence was worth mourning?
In school, they teach you that hope translates to looking forward to your future dreams and achievements. Yet, I believe hope should be perceived differently. Like a verb, hope should be lived through our actions. But I didn’t always think this way. It was only a few years ago that I learned my Nan’s middle name is Hope, which sparked my interest in the connotation of the word.
Growing up in a generational military family taught me how important hope was, even if I did not always see its significance. I began to conceptualize hope when my parents were deployed to war-torn countries, and I was left to wonder about their whereabouts and safety. March became a dreadful month for me. Every three years, without consideration for my family, friends, and relatives, the military would send our family away from country to country. I disliked this month. Engraved deeply was the feeling of sitting on our cold leather couch, waiting to hear where we were headed next. My parents folded out maps for us to conceptualize the move to Europe, yet all I could picture was brick roads and horse-drawn carriages, some distant reality of what was to come. But it all taught me hope. Hope for their return, hope to make more memories, hope for the future.
With every challenge that occurred throughout my life, I discovered a new hope. Positive or negative, hope was there to back me up on whatever life gave us.
Though it was heartbreaking during our move to Europe, leaving our family and dog behind, the hope of reconnecting once again kept me going. Even though it would be difficult to reconnect with the friends I once had before moving to Europe, I had a new hope of finding and making new friends in Europe. Or simple things, the hope to return to my Nan’s house again where this journey of mine started, the hope to reconnect with Hope provides insight and light into different aspects of our lives even when we don’t take time to realize it.
And with that, I’m not sure what was pivotal, my Nan’s middle name or my experience being in a military family. But at the end of the day, my connection with hope is one I will forever condemn important. From the times I spent worrying for my parents to what may come next, gifted me with the ability to discover hope and grasp onto it throughout my life. For that, I am internally grateful.
