Beyond work and school
What my introductory psychology class taught me about the power of my thoughts.
When reminiscing back on my childhood, I am reminded of how every time I would make pessimistic statements or express feelings of failure, my parents would often caution me with the phrase, “Don’t say bad things if you don’t want them to come true!” At the time, I chalked it up to superstitious drivel, abiding by their wishes most of the time to keep the peace in the household. I didn’t really think there was any validity or truth behind their warnings. That is, at least until around halfway through my first-year introduction to psychology course, when I was introduced to the concept of the self-fulfilling prophecy.
Self-fulfilling prophecy is omnipresent. “It is one of the most pervasive biases of all,” my professor would remind us, time and time again. We fall victim to it every day, without even realizing it, and stay suspended in its grip more than we’d like to admit. As the name suggests, self-fulfilling prophecies are beliefs that lead to their own fulfillment. To elaborate, it is a psychological phenomenon where our social beliefs and judgements lead us to behave in ways that produce their apparent confirmation.
For instance, teachers’ beliefs about their students act as self-fulfilling prophecies. If a teacher encounters the sibling of an earlier student of theirs who excelled in academics, the teacher will have this expectation that the sibling of that student would be equally as academically inclined. As a result of this expectation, the teacher will behave in more favourable ways towards the sibling and show them more grace than normal. In turn, the student responds positively and tries harder in class, thereby confirming their teacher’s expectations. This phenomenon is referred to as behavioural confirmation, which is a type of self-fulfilling prophecy whereby people’s social expectations lead them to act in ways that cause others to confirm their expectations.
In our everyday life, we are preyed on by the self-fulfilling prophecy without even realizing it. “I am going to fail this exam.” “There’s no way I’ll be able to submit this in time.” “I know I am going to hate socializing with XYZ.” “This class is going to be so hard.” These are all examples of self-fulfilling prophecies. While I was learning about the concept of self-fulfilling prophecy in class, I was struck with a sudden realization of how powerful our thoughts really are. They can potentially change the trajectory of our life. If I am a generally pessimistic person and have negative expectations of myself and the world around me, I will subconsciously act in ways that will end up fulfilling my beliefs, further enforcing my earlier pessimistic view of the world. On the flipside, if I am more optimistic, my actions will reflect my thoughts and my positive beliefs will end up being reinforced.
Our tendencies can sabotage us, or they can bring us more success and happiness than we could have ever imagined. I know, at this point, you’re probably thinking, what is this girl rambling on about? There’s no way our thoughts have that much power. But that is exactly the point. Our thoughts and beliefs are the building blocks that lay the foundation for how we lead the rest of our day, week, month, and eventually, life. In the face of a challenge, if we choose to persevere and not give up by adapting a growth mindset, if we choose to reassure ourselves instead of engaging in self-depreciating thinking, then our thoughts can literally become reality.
Midterms are approaching and soon the work will pile up, and so will feelings of procrastination and depreciation of one’s capabilities. When I feel overwhelmed, I take a moment to center myself. I focus on my breathing, calm my racing heart, and tell myself: “you’ve done this before, Jia! You can do it again. Just breathe.”
Once I feel like I have control over my body again, I urge myself to first make a game plan to tackle my deadlines, and then get to work on finishing my work, one by one. By thinking in a more productive manner, I behave in a more constructive and useful manner and, as a result, I can do it. Why? Because I believed I could.
On the other hand, in the past, and even now sometimes, I have been a victim of maladaptive thinking. I start to catastrophize all the work I have left, leading me down a spiral of thinking and believing that I can’t do it, that I am not good enough, and that I will never be able to overcome this. That leads to me having a panic attack, breaking down into tears, and I end up wasting more of the precious time I have left.
In both these scenarios, the only thing that changed was my thinking. And that changed everything. Our thoughts and beliefs are extremely powerful weapons, and if utilized to their maximum capabilities, they can lead us to heights we never dared to dream of.
Being aware of the self-fulfilling prophecy, however, doesn’t mean we won’t be susceptible to it. We will. But it is a matter of being able to realize that the self-fulfilling prophecy is at play and pushing ourselves out of that abyss, away from contemplating the what ifs and the failure. In my experience, to focus on the present and control what we can is all the ammunition you need to turn a bad day into a better one.
