Satire

UTM Parking Office to sell spots in-line

The University of Toronto parking office, the most beloved section of campus administration, is proud to announce a new method of capitalizing on...

Goat yoga was an inside job

On the cover of the November 4 issue of The Medium, a goat rests upon the back of a smiling older lady. The latest...

Boomer makes messy roommate for Greta

Greta Thunberg has landed herself scholarships at notable universities like Harvard and Yale, thanks to her noble climate activism, but Thunberg has decided to...

UTMSU haunted house filled with turkeys

The UTMSU is under fire for their haunted house being too frightening to bare. Last week, the students’ centre hosted many spooky scares, but...

U of T makes concerted effort to move suicides off campus

In lieu of recent tragedies, the University of Toronto plans to create a safe environment on campus by moving suicides off the premises. Turning...

Students resort to eating babies

In a twist not even Jonathon Swift would have seen coming, it seems many out-of-work Master’s and Ph.D. students have taken to eating babies. 

Satire editor elaborate front for shitty content

Ever since the recent introduction of The Medium’s Satire section, rumours about the supposed identity of the Satire Editor have spread around campus. The existence...

UTM Quidditch team tried for witchcraft

After years of conflict, the UTM Campus Christian groups have successfully tried the Quidditch team for witchcraft. The two groups have always had their...

Five never-before used costumes for Halloween

For all those shawtys with a screwed up back, you too can flex your curved spine by dressing as a skeleton with scoliosis. No...

App introduces women to serial killers

The internet is abuzz following the release of the new dating app, Slaughter Daughter™.  The app pairs hot suicidal teens with serial killers.

UTM announces extension to Subway line

UTM, always at the forefront of innovation, has announced its newest initiative to help students get from the start of their journey to the...

Hong Kong protesters don’t protest in Hong Kong

In this past Friday’s pre-season NBA game featuring the Raptors versus the Brooklyn Nets, dozens of protesters were seen wearing “Stand With Hong-Kong” shirts...
Advertisement
Advertisement