Okay, be honest: if you’re single, you’re ecstatic that Valentine’s Day won’t return for another year. Romantic candles, heart-shaped chocolates, cutesy teddy bears—they’re all gross. But for those in happy relationships, V-day is the next best thing to Christmas. After all, who doesn’t love to feel loved?
No need to fret about being single, because you now have a whole year to search for a compatible partner to brighten up your V-day blues. With so many people already in relationships, people tend to ask one simple question: are there any good guys or girls left?
The answer is yes. You just have to search for them and stay away from the losers and gold-diggers. Whether you gravitate towards players who won’t commit or girls who are constantly flirting, these lame partners will only hold you back. Since habits are hard to break, here is a plan to escape the loser trap once and for all.
Go on a Guy/Girl Diet
Jumping from one partner to the next with no downtime in between is a prime way to get stuck in a lame relationship. Get a partner detox and stay single for a while. This time can be used to reflect on your past relationship and figure out why it went wrong. If you’re feeling a bit lonely and have some extra time, take up a new hobby and hang out more with friends.
Update Your Loser Radar
No one deliberately goes looking for a lame guy or a superficial girl, but you have to sharpen your instincts if you want to stay away from them. Never compensate bad qualities for good ones—it doesn’t make the bad qualities go away. To keep a clear head, take a new relationship slowly. For the first month, see your new partner once or twice a week; this way you won’t get attached too fast before truly knowing their personality. Always make a note of the qualities that seem iffy. This will help you notice the red flags immediately rather than getting a shocking wake-up call six months later.
Wonder why we never notice red flags until after the fact? In part, it’s because we are blinded by love and lust. When we are really into someone, we crave attention and attachment, and that clouds judgment. One tactic is to see the big picture rather than focusing solely on the present. Look at the way your partner interacts with others. Do they treat their family right? Do they have a good core group of friends? Their actions and attitudes towards others will allow you to see their socialization skills with other people.
People are naturally prone to habits, from what they eat for breakfast to the kind of person they are attracted to. Don’t get into the groove of dating a certain type because this can be hard to change. It may also be one of the reasons you’re still single. If it is too hard to find someone that you like, ask a friend who has a stable love life if they know anyone they think would be a good fit for you. Even if it doesn’t work out, gaining the experience and dating new people will steer you away from your old habits.
A lot of people date lame guys or superficial girls because they believe they can change them. Suffering from good-guy/girl-syndrome will only cause you more pain in the end. People recognize that their partner is acting like a jerk or jerkette and put up with it because they don’t want to risk losing them or believe they can change them. Kick them to the curb if they become rude and inconsiderate. Don’t ever settle just because you are lonely. If you wait long enough, an enchanting guy or a sweet girl will sweep you off your feet, and the rest will be history.