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Mississauga
Thursday, January 18, 2018

Amir Ahmed

Masthead

Contributions

If UTM buildings were film genres

Exams are coming around. If you’re like us, that means you’re doing everything in your power to stop thinking about exams. That might be...

The Beaverton makes people chuckle

The Beaverton is Toronto’s leading native satirical newspaper

The Dating Game

Seduction Lairs On December 10, 2011, 1:32 p.m., I pull open the doors to the Ramada Hotel on Jarvis and Gerrard. I can’t stop thinking...

You’ve got femail

Love Systems releases new guide for men struggling in the world of online dating.

“The book is a sensual object”

This is a story about 12 people, one course, and cartload of font choices. It has a semi-sex joke in it, too.

Division is our greatest threat

Last week, Stephen Harper called Islamism the greatest threat to Canadian security. The PM insisted that, despite internal division in Al-Qaeda, flagging recruitment numbers,...

Why study the humanities?

For the past four years I’ve studied English at UTM, and for the past four years, I couldn’t tell you why I did it.

Student awaits publication

The world is ruined from a forgotten apocalypse. A single city shines in the wreckage, and only a single man sees anything wrong with...

Where our responsibilities lie: The no-fly zone and responsibility to protect...

On March 12, from 7:30 to 8:35 p.m., Al-Jazeera’s Libya Liveblog stuttered out a series of messages: the Arab League, an organization of nations...

Let them eat cake: Canadians and the monarchy

On April 29, Prince William and Kate Middleton will marry. And no one, at least in Canada, will give a damn.This is the latest...

Book holsters: the “Snuggie” of reading

Kindles disgust me, and so do iPads with their misplaced little “i” and inability to make phone calls.  Part of the reason is sour...

Five excellent books

Reading is sexy. In fact, seeing a girl go through some quality Rushdie is stimulating to me in a way that my doctor and...

In defence of Singles Day

Today, I will be alone. I’m not particularly heartbroken, because I know that Valentine’s Day is bad for people on both sides of the...

Three comic books you should probably read

All right, so maybe you read Watchmen once, or maybe you even read Maus or some kind of manga when you were in high...

Positive writing makes me mad

Businesses want to make you happy. Happy people, to put it bluntly, spend more and question less. There’s nothing wrong with that goal at...

Too many boobies

“I’m not going to do that man,” Mansour says to my request. He doesn’t even look at me to stay it, just keeps his...

Minecraft and the future of video games

The first time the zombies came for me, I wasn’t ready.  It attacked me, and I died like an animal in a barren wilderness,...

Who’re you calling a moderate Muslim?

Growing up in Canada and watching Canadian news, I’ve often had issues with the usage of the term “Moderate Muslim” in our media.According to...

Diwali festival lights up UTM

On Friday, October 29, the Hindu Student Council hosted their fifth annual Diwali Dhamaka in the Blind Duck. The events included performances, a three-course...

UTM’s superhero alter-egos

The buildings at UTM have been added over the slow course of 40 years—heck, parts of the Artist’s Cottage are rumoured to be dated...

Op-Ed: You’re probably tired of hearing this

The Muslim guy in your class probably doesn’t have a bomb strapped to his chest. The hijabi girl you passed on the street probably...

A punch in the gut with lightning-fast literature

I’m not going to judge. Getting your dose of high literature is hard in this day and age. There are excellent and exciting (if...

Iä Yog-Sothoth!

I’m pretty sure I passed Yog-Sothoth on the street.My first clue was the tentacles. Most people don’t have slimy appendages with toothed suckers skirting...

Offbeat food finds

This week’s dish is recommended by Amir Ahmed, the Features Editor at The Medium, and a fan of ridiculously unhealthy food.Pineapple buns are a...

The In-Betweeners comes to America

High school sucks for everyone. Therefore it’s amazing that so many movies and TV shows focus on high school as a setup for their...

The Medium is yours

My name is Amir Ahmed; I edit the Medium’s Features section.  A funny thing that happened last Tuesday, something that prompted me to emerge...

So you’re taking a language course

Language is a harsh mistress. She totes a bullwhip, handcuffs, and a gimp mask, and has no safety word. We spend all our infant...

Getting into anime

In high school, you probably wished you could hang out with a death god à la Death Note’s Light Yagami. In middle school, you...

Happy birthday, Mr. Kurosawa

Anyone who made a Google search in the past few days will have noticed that on March 23, the Internet giant changed its standard...

Time for a change

The next few months are going to be great for English readers of Japanese fiction. Yoko Ogawa’s Hotel Iris is finally coming out in...

A crash course in mahjong

Mahjong, a game originating in China, is similar to the Western card game rummy. There are now many different versions of mahjong, but the...

How to spend your summer vacation

Summer is around the corner, and if you have your life on track, you know exactly what you’re going to do. Maybe you’ll travel,...

Mooncakes

She tried to kill me with a mooncake mould.It didn’t work, of course. That’s why I’m able to talk to you. My name’s Eric...

Books you’ve probably never read but should

A varied reading list is vital if you want to come across great fiction or impress cute English majors. After all, you’re not going to understand the shape of world literature by reading Star Wars novels (or even by reading the Western canon).

Just one word: Internet

What would you do if you could meet the founders of Facebook before they made it big?  Would you invest in them? Would you...

The doctor is in

If you came across an injured man, would you heal him, or finish the job? For regular people, the solution is obvious—call 911 and avoid...

Replacing plastics

In the January 21 edition of Nature, a letter by a team of scientists from the University of Tokyo elaborated on the construction and...

Because losing is fun

Take seven dwarves, remove any bulimic princesses, and plonk them into a wilderness replete with wild animals, goblins and the occasional vengeful spirit. It...

About last night

I just remember telling jokes while vomitingIs asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?Why is there...

Waiting for a snow day

As the Winter Olympics draw near, Canadians and the world have focused their gaze on Vancouver. After Beijing beat Toronto in a bid for...

King Tut reigns over AGO

Turn left on University Avenue heading towards Union and youll see the Art Gallery of Ontario. No surprises there—the AGO has stood on the...

2010 in games

2010, by all appearances, seems a good year for video games. Hit titles Mass Effect, Fable, God of War and Final Fantasy are returning,...

Looking back at Winnie the Pooh

January 18 is Winnie the Pooh day, corresponding with the birthday of the bears creator, Alan A. Milne. While some may think that reporting...

The grammar wars

Views on English grammar are as numerous as the rules they comment on. Lynne Truss of Eats Shoots and Leaves sees it as a...

Discovering UTM: The Artist's Cottage

Stop by Principals Road on the way to the paleomagnetism lab (yes, we have one) and youll see a cottage on one side. Built...

Fun times with Summertime

Summertime, John Coetzees latest novel, takes an interesting twist with the idea of the memoir. This inventive turn comes as no surprise, considering his...

The health of nations

Today, the UTM Health and Counselling Centre offers students medical and psychological services; the centres commitment to all forms of health has grown dramatically...

ISRC is A-OK

The culture shock of coming to Canada can be a discomforting thing.  Our countrys cold winters, vast bureaucracy and a government wandering between American...

Discovering UTM: Thomas Cottage

Most UTM students have at some point or another walked past the cottage lying between the South Building and Oscar Peterson Hall. Yet no...

The new 2012

Hollywood, some celebrities, and assorted pseudo-scientists with too much time on their hands have cited 2012 as the year the earth will end. According...

Theo Pam

The school bell rings, Theo and I barely hear it in the backstage hall.The backstage hall looks like any other hallway near the music...

Educating students worldwide

All who have meditated on the art of governing mankind have been convinced that the fate of empires depends on the education of youth.The...

Sixth of three

Douglas Adams The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy first charmed readers in 1997, when its quirky humour and approach to science fiction — then...

ECSperT care in expert hands

The Erindale College Special Response Team is a St. Johns ambulance affiliate, run by student volunteers.  Its most noticeable service around campus is its...

Try to guess the ending

Dave? This is John. Your pimp says bring the heroin shipment tonight or hell be forced to stick you. Meet him where we buried...

Community on campus

The Community on Campus program is designed to provide adults with mental disabilities an experience of life in a post-secondary environment. Accompanied by volunteers,...

Check out the library

Approached from Outer Circle Road at night, it looks like a glowing crystal for- mation. Approached from the Student Centre during the day, it...

Share a bike at UTM

Maybe you want a green commute. Maybe you want to eat lunch at the Mandarin before your next lecture. Maybe you want to get...

The core of the matter

In 2007, the city of Mississauga confronted a question — how could they improve the city and stimulate economic growth while practicing environmentally friendly...

Bones, bones, bones

Are you a forensics student looking to test your skills? Or do you just love a good puzzle? In either case, Kathy Reichs new...

Creative Corner: At the cafe

Along with those, Ill have the chocolate muffin, two mint brownies, one of those oat bar things — is that an éclair? The voice, her...

CCIT Council plans orientation for students

The CCIT Academic Societys orientation week is taking place this Friday and if youre a first-year student unsure of what to study in the...

Before Jack Black, there were real Kung Fu movies

Special attention in our media is usually given to the so-called good movies. These films are typically well-scripted, masterfully directed and feature particularly talented...

(Job)berwocky

Searching for a summer job or finding the perfect career after graduation can take the joy out of spring. No one wants to end...

D-Day: A new artistic outlet

Last October, The Medium published a profile on UTM student and artist Dmitri Tcherbadji (aka D , and his plan to encourage art for...

A Bicycle built for you

While the U-Pass takes some of the strain off commuter wallets, it also renders students dependent on the sometimes irregular, always cumbersome Mississauga transit...

The wheels on the bus

The University of Torontos tricampus model fosters greater course selection, the ability to educate more students, and the fuzzy feeling of superiority from having...

If UTM buildings were film genres

Exams are coming around. If you’re like us, that means you’re doing everything in your power to stop thinking about exams. That might be...

The Beaverton makes people chuckle

The Beaverton is Toronto’s leading native satirical newspaper

The Dating Game

Seduction Lairs On December 10, 2011, 1:32 p.m., I pull open the doors to the Ramada Hotel on Jarvis and Gerrard. I can’t stop thinking...

You’ve got femail

Love Systems releases new guide for men struggling in the world of online dating.

“The book is a sensual object”

This is a story about 12 people, one course, and cartload of font choices. It has a semi-sex joke in it, too.

Division is our greatest threat

Last week, Stephen Harper called Islamism the greatest threat to Canadian security. The PM insisted that, despite internal division in Al-Qaeda, flagging recruitment numbers,...

Why study the humanities?

For the past four years I’ve studied English at UTM, and for the past four years, I couldn’t tell you why I did it.

Student awaits publication

The world is ruined from a forgotten apocalypse. A single city shines in the wreckage, and only a single man sees anything wrong with...

Where our responsibilities lie: The no-fly zone and responsibility to protect...

On March 12, from 7:30 to 8:35 p.m., Al-Jazeera’s Libya Liveblog stuttered out a series of messages: the Arab League, an organization of nations...

Let them eat cake: Canadians and the monarchy

On April 29, Prince William and Kate Middleton will marry. And no one, at least in Canada, will give a damn.This is the latest...

Book holsters: the “Snuggie” of reading

Kindles disgust me, and so do iPads with their misplaced little “i” and inability to make phone calls.  Part of the reason is sour...

Five excellent books

Reading is sexy. In fact, seeing a girl go through some quality Rushdie is stimulating to me in a way that my doctor and...

In defence of Singles Day

Today, I will be alone. I’m not particularly heartbroken, because I know that Valentine’s Day is bad for people on both sides of the...

Three comic books you should probably read

All right, so maybe you read Watchmen once, or maybe you even read Maus or some kind of manga when you were in high...

Positive writing makes me mad

Businesses want to make you happy. Happy people, to put it bluntly, spend more and question less. There’s nothing wrong with that goal at...

Too many boobies

“I’m not going to do that man,” Mansour says to my request. He doesn’t even look at me to stay it, just keeps his...

Minecraft and the future of video games

The first time the zombies came for me, I wasn’t ready.  It attacked me, and I died like an animal in a barren wilderness,...

Who’re you calling a moderate Muslim?

Growing up in Canada and watching Canadian news, I’ve often had issues with the usage of the term “Moderate Muslim” in our media.According to...

Diwali festival lights up UTM

On Friday, October 29, the Hindu Student Council hosted their fifth annual Diwali Dhamaka in the Blind Duck. The events included performances, a three-course...

UTM’s superhero alter-egos

The buildings at UTM have been added over the slow course of 40 years—heck, parts of the Artist’s Cottage are rumoured to be dated...

Op-Ed: You’re probably tired of hearing this

The Muslim guy in your class probably doesn’t have a bomb strapped to his chest. The hijabi girl you passed on the street probably...

A punch in the gut with lightning-fast literature

I’m not going to judge. Getting your dose of high literature is hard in this day and age. There are excellent and exciting (if...

Iä Yog-Sothoth!

I’m pretty sure I passed Yog-Sothoth on the street.My first clue was the tentacles. Most people don’t have slimy appendages with toothed suckers skirting...

Offbeat food finds

This week’s dish is recommended by Amir Ahmed, the Features Editor at The Medium, and a fan of ridiculously unhealthy food.Pineapple buns are a...

The In-Betweeners comes to America

High school sucks for everyone. Therefore it’s amazing that so many movies and TV shows focus on high school as a setup for their...

The Medium is yours

My name is Amir Ahmed; I edit the Medium’s Features section.  A funny thing that happened last Tuesday, something that prompted me to emerge...

So you’re taking a language course

Language is a harsh mistress. She totes a bullwhip, handcuffs, and a gimp mask, and has no safety word. We spend all our infant...

Getting into anime

In high school, you probably wished you could hang out with a death god à la Death Note’s Light Yagami. In middle school, you...

Happy birthday, Mr. Kurosawa

Anyone who made a Google search in the past few days will have noticed that on March 23, the Internet giant changed its standard...

Time for a change

The next few months are going to be great for English readers of Japanese fiction. Yoko Ogawa’s Hotel Iris is finally coming out in...

A crash course in mahjong

Mahjong, a game originating in China, is similar to the Western card game rummy. There are now many different versions of mahjong, but the...

How to spend your summer vacation

Summer is around the corner, and if you have your life on track, you know exactly what you’re going to do. Maybe you’ll travel,...

Mooncakes

She tried to kill me with a mooncake mould.It didn’t work, of course. That’s why I’m able to talk to you. My name’s Eric...

Books you’ve probably never read but should

A varied reading list is vital if you want to come across great fiction or impress cute English majors. After all, you’re not going to understand the shape of world literature by reading Star Wars novels (or even by reading the Western canon).

Just one word: Internet

What would you do if you could meet the founders of Facebook before they made it big?  Would you invest in them? Would you...

The doctor is in

If you came across an injured man, would you heal him, or finish the job? For regular people, the solution is obvious—call 911 and avoid...

Replacing plastics

In the January 21 edition of Nature, a letter by a team of scientists from the University of Tokyo elaborated on the construction and...

Because losing is fun

Take seven dwarves, remove any bulimic princesses, and plonk them into a wilderness replete with wild animals, goblins and the occasional vengeful spirit. It...

About last night

I just remember telling jokes while vomitingIs asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?Why is there...

Waiting for a snow day

As the Winter Olympics draw near, Canadians and the world have focused their gaze on Vancouver. After Beijing beat Toronto in a bid for...

King Tut reigns over AGO

Turn left on University Avenue heading towards Union and youll see the Art Gallery of Ontario. No surprises there—the AGO has stood on the...

2010 in games

2010, by all appearances, seems a good year for video games. Hit titles Mass Effect, Fable, God of War and Final Fantasy are returning,...

Looking back at Winnie the Pooh

January 18 is Winnie the Pooh day, corresponding with the birthday of the bears creator, Alan A. Milne. While some may think that reporting...

The grammar wars

Views on English grammar are as numerous as the rules they comment on. Lynne Truss of Eats Shoots and Leaves sees it as a...

Discovering UTM: The Artist's Cottage

Stop by Principals Road on the way to the paleomagnetism lab (yes, we have one) and youll see a cottage on one side. Built...

Fun times with Summertime

Summertime, John Coetzees latest novel, takes an interesting twist with the idea of the memoir. This inventive turn comes as no surprise, considering his...

The health of nations

Today, the UTM Health and Counselling Centre offers students medical and psychological services; the centres commitment to all forms of health has grown dramatically...

ISRC is A-OK

The culture shock of coming to Canada can be a discomforting thing.  Our countrys cold winters, vast bureaucracy and a government wandering between American...

Discovering UTM: Thomas Cottage

Most UTM students have at some point or another walked past the cottage lying between the South Building and Oscar Peterson Hall. Yet no...

The new 2012

Hollywood, some celebrities, and assorted pseudo-scientists with too much time on their hands have cited 2012 as the year the earth will end. According...

Theo Pam

The school bell rings, Theo and I barely hear it in the backstage hall.The backstage hall looks like any other hallway near the music...

Educating students worldwide

All who have meditated on the art of governing mankind have been convinced that the fate of empires depends on the education of youth.The...

Sixth of three

Douglas Adams The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy first charmed readers in 1997, when its quirky humour and approach to science fiction — then...

ECSperT care in expert hands

The Erindale College Special Response Team is a St. Johns ambulance affiliate, run by student volunteers.  Its most noticeable service around campus is its...

Try to guess the ending

Dave? This is John. Your pimp says bring the heroin shipment tonight or hell be forced to stick you. Meet him where we buried...

Community on campus

The Community on Campus program is designed to provide adults with mental disabilities an experience of life in a post-secondary environment. Accompanied by volunteers,...

Check out the library

Approached from Outer Circle Road at night, it looks like a glowing crystal for- mation. Approached from the Student Centre during the day, it...

Share a bike at UTM

Maybe you want a green commute. Maybe you want to eat lunch at the Mandarin before your next lecture. Maybe you want to get...

The core of the matter

In 2007, the city of Mississauga confronted a question — how could they improve the city and stimulate economic growth while practicing environmentally friendly...

Bones, bones, bones

Are you a forensics student looking to test your skills? Or do you just love a good puzzle? In either case, Kathy Reichs new...

Creative Corner: At the cafe

Along with those, Ill have the chocolate muffin, two mint brownies, one of those oat bar things — is that an éclair? The voice, her...

CCIT Council plans orientation for students

The CCIT Academic Societys orientation week is taking place this Friday and if youre a first-year student unsure of what to study in the...

Before Jack Black, there were real Kung Fu movies

Special attention in our media is usually given to the so-called good movies. These films are typically well-scripted, masterfully directed and feature particularly talented...

(Job)berwocky

Searching for a summer job or finding the perfect career after graduation can take the joy out of spring. No one wants to end...

D-Day: A new artistic outlet

Last October, The Medium published a profile on UTM student and artist Dmitri Tcherbadji (aka D , and his plan to encourage art for...

A Bicycle built for you

While the U-Pass takes some of the strain off commuter wallets, it also renders students dependent on the sometimes irregular, always cumbersome Mississauga transit...

The wheels on the bus

The University of Torontos tricampus model fosters greater course selection, the ability to educate more students, and the fuzzy feeling of superiority from having...
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