Just look at your right hand


Its the joke issue. Chill the fuck out.

No, the Undergraduate Commerce Society hasnt been abandoned by the Department of Management. No, the Student Union isnt taking over them. No, all the quotes werent real. And no, a residence building did not burn down because of candles used during Earth Hour. But if you believed all of the above, even for a minute, youve just made our day. We strive to do our best here at The Medium, every week.

And if youre wondering why we targeted UCS in our front page joke, just think of the response we received with the Biz Frosh article a month ago. It would surely be bad business to not tap on them again. As for the editorial cartoon by Arnold Wong, we received it a week after the whole affair but felt it would be slightly crass to run it alongside the UCS Presidents letter of apology. So we put it on ice, till now. We think its fucking hilarious. By the way, where are all you editorial cartoonists hiding at? The campus newspaper needs you.

The other contender for the front page joke was a story concerning the degrees we receive upon graduation. We wanted to inform you of a change in policy with regards to the institution name printed on the degree — instead of the University of Toronto, it will read, University of Toronto Mississauga. Thankfully, I realized in time that this exact same joke was exercised sometime back in 2002. Researching further, I also learned of the outcry it sparked.

Apparently, the article was so seriously written that students bought into it completely, and proceeded to flood the Office of the Registrar and Dean of Student Affairs with E-mails and phone calls. Many even flocked the administrative offices to voice their concerns and disapproval in person. So much so that the Office of the Registrar was forced to put up a sign outside that indicated the rumour wasnt true.

Naturally, the editor-in-chief at the time faced the onslaught of the powers-that-be, from both this and the downtown campus. Consequently, she had to write a retraction and editorial the following week apologizing for her questionable editorial decision. Even the joke issue shield wasnt enough to justify things.

We just hope we havent stirred up as much trouble ourselves.

We made sure to leave out all homophobic and racially derogatory subject matter. And of course, we didnt even think about going anywhere near religion, even though the president of the MSA gave us his blessings to write about a new membership rule that requires all MSA members to grow a three-inch beard.

Our only regret is that we couldnt go a full twelve-pager with the jokes, hence the two front pages. Darn UTMSU elections had to get scheduled so late in the year – I hope none of you incoming execs get ratified.

Just kidding now…

To all those we failed to make mention of in any of our joke articles, please forgive us — we had only so much space; although its true that we left some of you bastards out fearing you had no sense of humour. By that rationale, you commerce kids should be flattered. But we did try to be as inclusive as possible. Dont believe me? Just look at your right hand.