Before Elections


’Twas the week before elections, when all across the campus

not a student was caring, not even a frosh.

The posters were hung on the wall with care,

in hopes that the voters soon would be there.

The candidates nestled all snug in their beds,

while visions of victories danced in their heads.

And my girlfriend in her ’kerchief, and I in my cap,

had just settled our brains for a quick power-nap,

when in the meeting place there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter.

Away to the library I flew like a flash,

tore through the campaigners in such a dash;

when what to my apathetic eyes should appear,

but a pep rally, and those coloured t-shirts, I fear!

With a student, annoying and apt to pursue,

I knew iright away it was a Student Issue.

More rapid than arrows his campaign points came,

and he whistled, and shouted, and called me by name:

“Now you, listen up! Can’t you tell!?

Tuition’s too high! U of T’s going to hell!

To the dean’s office! To the president of U of T!

Vote now! Vote now! Vote now for me!”

And as he kept shouting, like a big goof,

the hissing and cawing was always half untruth.

As I drew in his words, my head was spinning around:

down to earth I must bring him in a bound.

“What of my education and theirs, and all that is good?

The amazing profs and TAs and all that you would

throw out with the bathwater if only you could?

Support staff and workers, library and new,

buildings and labs wouldn’t exist if it were up to you.”

His brow—how it wrinkled! His smile evaporated!

His cheeks were like roses, his teeth, how they grated!

This drone was annoyed by a student’s free thought,

but to win my vote, on the candidate fought.

The words he said came tight through his teeth:

“What nonsense is this,” his anger did seethe.

A voter with a mind, who won’t just listen?

They never taught me how to deal with such a villain!

He was confused and fought, but to no avail;

my ideas on free market and discrimination prevailed!

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!

Soon I realized he wasn’t from here, but from Guelph!

He spoke not a word, but went back to his work,

and forced his ideals on everyone, the jerk.

And no one stood up to fight this injustice!

Even if their team is supported by the caucus!

He sprang to his van, and to his team gave a whistle,

and away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

“Happy elections to all, and to all a goodnight!”