Awful lines, break-up and pick-up —and your responses


“It’s not you, it’s me.”

Shut up! It’s obviously me or else I’d be the one breaking up with you…

“Sometimes, when you love someone you have to learn to let them go.”

Two weeks later you see your ex with someone else. Guess that’s why I was let go.

“I love you, but I’m not in love with you.”

And you just figured this out today, right before your trip to Vegas?

“I want to know what it’s like to be single again.”

But we’ve only been dating for two weeks?

“You’re too good for me. I don’t deserve you.”

Damn straight, honey! Your loss!

“You must be tired, because you’ve been running through my mind all night, baby.”

That’s from Fresh Prince. NEXT!

“Did it hurt… When you fell from heaven?”

(Just walk away…)

“I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by you.”

Wow, I think I need to be drunk to listen to this stuff…

“Can I ask for directions… to your heart?”

Yeah, take a left at the corner of Cheesy and Lines.

“You look cold; want to use me as a blanket?”

No thanks, I’ll freeze to death.

“Bond.  James Bond.”

Leave.  Leave now.